


Breathless

by prose_goddess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-02 18:22:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20813507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prose_goddess/pseuds/prose_goddess
Summary: Consequently his close proximity always made me breathless, but only in the best possible way. As if reading my thoughts, he smiled lightly and placed another kiss to my forehead.





	Breathless

**Author's Note:**

> So please don't hate my romanticism of anxiety here. I deal with panic attacks and major anxiety irl, and this is just a fantasy. 
> 
> With that being said, please enjoy. Thanks all!

Anxiety clouded my mind, and as the panic grew I couldn't breathe. He was across the room so he couldn't see, but my mind was screaming at him to notice that I was falling apart by the seams. I couldn't say anything to warn him of the impending attack, all I could do was rock back and forth gently in my seat trying to breathe. 

My lungs were wrapped in iron, and no matter how hard I breathed in I couldn't get enough air. Tears pricked my eyes as it became painful. I started to hyperventilate, growing more panicked, wishing to the gods that he would see me. Unable to take sitting and waiting I stumbled out of my chair. My heart pounded like a drum and I only had one thought, to get out of there alive. But I misjudged the distance between me and the doorway. 

Continuing to pound, my heart ached. It matched the pain in my lungs and I was seeing black at the edges of my vision. I have only passed out a handful of times during a panic attack, and doing so right now wasn't ideal. But being unable to breathe, I fell to my knees with a strangled cry. Curling up on the floor I didn't hear him rush to my side. His beautiful green eyes came into my line of sight, but everything was blurry. He was saying something to me, but all I heard was the ringing in my ears. All I wanted was to be able to breathe again. Tears fell down my face again as I closed my eyes, trying to calm down my heart. 

I could feel his hand on my back grounding me. He brushed the hair from my forehead and I almost thought I saw tears in his own eyes. I wanted to curl up in his arms, to be safe and secure. But he wouldn't dare move me now, so he just sat and waited. 

I don't remember when I lost consciousness, but when I opened my eyes the room was darker, and he had layed a blanket over me. He had curled up behind me, tucking me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me. I felt immensely better, but didn't want to disturb him. Slowly turning over to my other side I took in his sleeping profile. 

His long eyelashes, his full kissable lips, his defined jaw. I was so lucky to have him, but I always felt guilty about the anxiety. Snuggling up closer to him, I felt his arms tighten around me. 

"Hey," he simply said. His voice was hoarse with sleep and I shivered. 

"Hi," I replied. I looked into his now open eyes and I felt my heartbeat pick back up. But this time in a good way. 

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He gently leaned forward and kissed my forehead. My eyes fluttered closed for a second before I spoke again.

"It's okay, I should be used to it by now." My voice sounded smaller, and I couldn't bear the look in his eyes. 

"It's not okay babe. And it shouldn't be something you're used to. I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner. Sam has me doing all this research, I'm sorry." He sounded close to tears. I kissed him on the cheek and sat up. My bones ached from being on the floor, and I was amazed he had stayed with me. 

"It's not your fault. I'm glad you're here with me though. All I could think about was getting myself to breathe." Consequently his close proximity always made me breathless, but only in the best possible way. As if reading my thoughts, he smiled lightly and placed another kiss to my forehead. 

Standing up he helped me to my feet, but continued to hold me to his chest. His green eyes sparkled.

"I wish there was a way I could help more," he softly said. I kept glancing at his lips as he spoke. 

"You already do so much for me. You've stuck around far longer than anyone else in my life. I honestly couldn't ask for more." He was leaning in closer with every word. My breath escaped me for a second time, but I would much rather have it this way. 

I looked into his eyes once again and saw nothing but love. His lips were mere inches from mine. His warm hands cradled my face and as he softly kissed me my eyes fluttered closed. 

He was gentle, not wanting to set me off again so soon, and my heart burst. He tasted of vanilla, with a hint of whiskey and it was all I could do not to devour him. My hands rested lazily on his chest and I could feel his own heart pounding steadily. 

Slowly he deepened the kiss, one of his hands drifting down to the small of my back, pulling me in closer. I moaned softly as his tongue searched for entrance in my mouth. Letting him take control I ran my hands along his torso and shoulders, causing him to moan. 

His hips rolled gently against mine and stars danced behind my eyes. All I wanted in this moment was to forget everything else, and be consumed by him. 

Breaking away from the kiss he rested his forehead against mine. Panting I chuckled softly, taking him in. His eyes had grown dark, no doubt mirroring my own. His perfect lips were pink and kissed swollen, making everything about him more irrisitable. He smirked as he brought his lips just a breaths apart from mine. 

"I love you," he said against my lips. My heart jumped. 

I love you, Dean," I replied back breathlessly. He kissed me once again. 


End file.
